


Bruce Wayne and The No Good, Very Bad, Beach Day

by Living_Free



Series: Slip and Slide [48]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batcow gets an enclosure, Batdad, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce and Cobb come to an agreement, Clark tries to keep things wholesome, Crack, Damian as a farmer, Day At The Beach, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Kon can't believe he's related to Clark, M/M, Tim as a vengeful reporter, Tim gets sunburn, batbros, salacious rumours about Bruce's love life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 17:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21001316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Bruce is forced to have fun in the sun.Kon is eager to get his hands on Tim's buns.Dick goes to ludicrous maternal lengths,and Damian flexes his farmhand strengths.





	Bruce Wayne and The No Good, Very Bad, Beach Day

Bruce was sitting up in his favourite chaise lounge on a sleepy Saturday morning, with his newspaper, mug of coffee, and his most luxurious dressing gown draping his adonis-like body. Bruce was very proud at how his muscles bulged out. Selina found them very tantalizing.

So cheery was his mood, that Bruce was actually humming when Damian passed him by with a casual, "Good morn, Father". Bruce looked up to greet his son, and noted that Damian was dressed in an unusually casual manner, in a t-shirt, little swimming trunks, and flip-flops.

"Are you going to the pool, Damian?"

Damian looked sadly at Bruce. "Oh Father, I fear that you are experiencing age-related neuronal degeneration!" He cried. "You have forgotten that today is the obligatory Wayne Family Social Mingling Day at the beach!"

The gears in his brain clicked, and Bruce groaned. Today was the day he had inked into his calendar to put in the obligatory Brucie Wayne and Family public appearance. This year, they had chosen to go to the beach, where sand grains would no doubt mercilessly lodge into Bruce's crack and make him itchy and irritable.

On the other hand, it was Terry's first visit to the beach, so that was bound to be cute.

"Who's coming?" Bruce asked Damian, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Pennyworth is wrangling everyone in the house," Damian said. "Gordon is sending Colin, but sends her regrets as she 'hates sand with the fire of a thousand suns'. Koriand'r and Mistress Raven will be joining us as well."

Bruce looked up at that. "Raven is coming to the beach? Won't she melt or something?"

"The Mistress and I have brewed supernatural sunblock, which she intends to slather on herself, myself, and of course, Terrence."

Bruce sighed heavily and got to his feet to don the persona of the more cheery Brucie, cursed be his existence. Waddling into his room, Bruce bumped into Tim, who was making his way downstairs in a crop-top and booty shorts.

"Bruce, you're not ready yet!" He scolded. "Poor Kon is already waiting for me, alone and bereft of his tender lover on the shores of the beach, the waves battering his pulsating, sultry, body as he braves the elements to wait for me!"

Bruce's brain shorted out. "Wait, Kon-El was invited?"

"All the Kents were invited," Tim said.

Bruce groaned. Clark was going to be flouncing around with his sun-kissed skin and rippling torso, and giving Bruce an inferiority complex.

Pouting the whole while, Bruce changed into his beach clothes, and bumped into Cass and Steph, who were both looking ridiculous in excessively large, floppy, wide-brimmed hats and sunglasses.

"Hey, B, want a hat?" Steph asked.

Bruce ran away, only to be accosted by Jason and Roy, each applying lotion to the other and giggling. Bruce kept running.

Concluding that he was surrounded by mad people, he went and hid in the car until it was time to leave. Too soon, Dick stuck his head into the car and beamed. "Bruce, you're ready! Here, hold Terry, I have to set up the car seat."

Bruce gladly held his grandson, who he realized with a warm glow, was dressed like a miniature version of Bruce, right down to the sensible straw hat, open chested button down, and the tiny cargo shorts with flip flops.

"Who looks like the handsomest baby ever to be a baby?" Jason cooed, poking his head in. "Not Damian, that's who. I'll bet that Damian looked like congealed porridge when he was a baby. Angry, evil, sentient porridge blob."

"TODD!" Damian seethed, even as Terry giggled at the fight unfolding.

"Back, starch globule!"  
"I will smash your foul teeth in, Todd, you irreverent mongoose!"

"Try me, mushroom nose!"

"Gasp! My nose is regal and shapely, I simply have not grown into it!"

"Keep dreaming, brat!"  
"Eat dirt, Todd!"

"Oh look, Jay and Dami are hugging," Dick smiled vacuously, "isn't that nice?"

Bruce just stared at his son's moment of spontaneous stupidity and shook his head, before reaching down to pick Damian up off the floor where he was scuffling with Jason, who had effectively ended the situation by just sitting on top of his baby brother.

"Argh, my spine is smushed," Damian bemoaned his fate, "Father, avenge me!"

"Jason, you are a bad boy," Bruce scolded.

"Ooh yeah, talk dirty to me," Jason leered, and Bruce flinched back hurriedly as Jason burst into peals of laughter.

Bruce hoarded his two youngest family members and waited till everyone had bundled into the car.

"Okay, equipment check! Picnic baskets!" Dick shrieked.

"Here," Cass said.

"Beach balls!"

"Here," Roy called back.

"Diaper bag!"

"Here," Wally grinned.

"Sunscreen!"

"Here~" Tim sang.

"Mats!"

"Here," Cobb said, and Bruce jumped out of his skin.

"When did you get here?" Bruce demanded of the Talon, who was sitting behind him with Tim, an innocent expression on his face.

"Just now," Cobb said. "Tim let me in."

Grumbling, Bruce fastened his seatbelt and braced for a day of sunshine and smiles.

Bah humbug.

***

The Waynes rolled up to the beach, and were immediately greeted to Clark's bare torso, full of that good ol' cornhusking vigour and farm fresh vitality.

"You're here!" Clark cheered, and lifted Dick off of his feet and swung him around, as he had done when he had been a little bitty boy. Dick giggled happily and staggered away to watch Kon do the same thing to Tim, except with a lot more intimate contact. Clark squeaked and ran over to separate them, with an angry, "Konathan Kent, don't you know not to be lewd in public, think of the children-"

"Oh my god, Clark, unclench-" Kon started, his hand still on Tim's bottom.

"-behaving like a beast in rut, honestly, have you no purity left-"

"-the only one who should have an issue is Timmy, and he ain't complainin'-!"

"That's because you have overstimulated him! You know that he is delicate-"

Bruce ignored the little scene and opted to watch Dick and Wally help experience sand for the first time. Dick placed Terry onto the sand on his wobbly little legs. Terry gasped as his feet sank in, and looked questioningly up at his daddies. Seeing their smiles bolstered his confidence, and he took a hesitant step forward, only to underestimate the drag and flop face-first into the sandy expanse.

Dick lifted Terry out of the sand and tickled his bemused baby. "Oopsie, Terry had a fall!"

"Fall!" Terry repeated gaily, his previous humiliation forgotten.

"Here, Terry," Jason said, attracting the baby's attention, "follow in Uncle Jay's big, hairy, footsteps."

And so came to be the adorable scene of man and baby traversing the beach, the baby following behind his adoring uncle and occasionally faceplanting into the sand, with his fathers hurrying along behind them.

Bruce took a minute to commit the image to memory, before laying out his mat and setting up his umberella to retreat into his makeshift cave of darkness. From his strategically located spot on the beach, Bruce could see everything.

Jason and Roy holding Damian, Jon, and Colin's hands as they entered the water.

Terry discovering wet and dry sand coexisting and trying to engage in a philosophical puzzle in his own mind, while Dick and Wally slathered him in love and sunscreen.

Kon-El picking up seashells to string together into a necklace for a swooning Tim.

Clark offering Raven a hot dog from the grill he had set up, only for her to deadpan that she was vegetarian. (This was a lie, Bruce had seen her in her Eldritch demon form in battle, she had eaten a whole-ass human and then rubbed her tummy).

Koriand'r and Lois exchanging makeup tips and laughing at their spouses.

Cass and Steph in the water, splashing each other. Cass was happy and laughing in a way Bruce rarely saw, and goddamnit if that didn't break his heart a little.

And of course, Alfred, who was lying on the mat next to him and being conveniently old so as to not have to go out into the sun.

"Having fun, Alfred?"

"Indeed, Master Bruce. I have taken several pictures of the children doing adorable things that I shall frame and put up on the mantle once we get home."

"You think of everything," Bruce marvelled. "I wish I'd-"

"Thoughtless worm! You dare leave your waste behind to pollute this most scenic landscape! Come forth, foul fiend, and we shall duel! I shall draw your callous blood this day!"

Bruce spun around like the exorcist to see Damian yelling at a middle aged man, backed up by tiny Colin and Jon. He was shouting and gesticulating, pointing at the plastic beer can ring holder that had been discarded into the water.

"Fool! Had a turtle suffocated, I would have had you pay its weight in your blood! Shame be upon you!"

"Shame! Shame!" Colin and Jon echoed, as the man gawked. "Shame!"

"Same!" Terry cried accusatorily.

The man bristled a being ganged up on by a bunch of babies. "I ain't gonna sit here and be insulted-"

Then, the seas began to part. People ran to the shore in fear, and Bruce stood, ready to call back his children.

A figure rose from the depths. A man, his long hair rippling in the wind, riding on the back of a shark. He dismounted, and walked to the shoreline, in his hands, the errant beer can ring.

"Its Aquaman," Jon gasped reverently, as The Lord Of The Seven Seas strode past them to address the crowd.

"Who dares to endanger my subjects with this," Aquaman shook the beer can ring, "abomination!"

"'Twas him, my liege!" Damian squeaked bloodthirstily, pointing at the culprit, who gulped conspicuously.

"N-no, I didn't-"

"We all saw him!" Colin piped up. "He was mean!"  
"And ugly!" Jon added.

"Excellent choice insult, Little Kent."

"Thanks, Dami!"

Aquaman listened to the small children that were reverently milling around him, and brought forth his trident. The culprit paled and screamed like the cowardly potato that he was.

"You have broken the laws of the seas this day!" Aquaman boomed. "As such, you will face judgement by the seas." Hearing this, the shark beamed happily and wriggled forward, thinking that he was going to have a snack for being such a good boy. The man screamed and fell to his knees.

"No! Mercy! Please!"

"No! Let the shark eat him!" Damian insisted. "The shark has been good and noble, unlike this obscene peanut of a person!"

Aquaman had to hide his grin and winked at Bruce, who hid his face in his hands and groaned even as the tell-tale sounds of cameras going off burst into life around him. This was going to end up in the morning papers, he just knew it.

"Taking into account what the pups have said, and bearing in mind mine own witnessing of the act, I do sentence this evildoer to the service of the sea!" Aquaman boomed. "Ninety days, you shall come to this spot, and clean the shore! So mote it be!"

The man crumbled, weeping, as great lengths of seaweed boud his wrists and ankles in punishment. "Every day at dawn, the weeds shall drag you to this spot for you to do your daily penance!" Aquaman boomed.

"All hail!" Damian squealed happily, dancing around Aquaman.

"ALL HAIL!" The rest of the beachgoers boomed, as the King stood regally on the sands of the beach, his shirtless torso gleaming in the sun, his hair whipping about majestically in the breeze. Then, because Bruce had not been tortured enough, the troublesome Aquaman, known to his friends as Arthur Curry, turned and made a kissy face at Bruce, who groaned and sat down.

For the next hour, Arthur hung around the beach with the kids, pointing out various species of mollusc or barnacle, and making Terry and the other babies on the beach little seaweed crowns. Bruce hid underneath his umberella, eager to have himself blend into the darkness that had already consumed his mind.

All too soon, Arthur had to leave. He mounted his shark, and stood regally on its back. Before leaving, he made delibertae eye contact with Bruce, and very deliberately, raised his trident to point straight at him.

The people around them gasped and whispered to themselves. Was Bruce Wayne courting the King of the Seas? Was he to be the consort of the legendary Aquaman? Would Bruce Wayne be the Queen?  
These rumours, of course, were spearheaded by none other than Jason.

Thankfully, the Waynes soon packed up to leave, and claimed Jon and Colin for sleepovers with Damian. Stuffed back into the van with his family, Bruce performed a quick headcount.

"Dick, Terry, Jason, Wally, Roy, Cassie, Tim, Kon-El...KON-EL!"

"Yessir?" Kon said, looking up from where he was massaging Tim's outstretched leg.

"What are you doing here!"

"Oh, sir, I'm applying aloe vera gel to Timmy's legs. He's got a bit of a sunburn, and I don't want for him to hurt."

"What nonsense. Go home this minute. Jason!"

"Yeah?"

"Massage the aloe into Tim's leg."

"Eww," Jason moaned at the idea of touching Tim's slick little leg.

Tim whined at the loss of Kon's tender touch, and screeched at the feeling of Jason's blistered hands rubbing his leg like sandpaper. "Ow! Ow!"

"Cram it, Timbo, we're both in pain here," Jason grumbled as Tim whined and wept at being so cruelly used.

"Bruce how could you do this to me," Tim cried, "how could your stone heart separate me from that most tender touch of my lover!?"

"There is but one thing that can melt my stone heart," Bruce said viciously, and picked Terry up. The moment Terry realized that he was getting upsies, he beamed.

"Gwanpa!"

Bruce smiled, his frozen heart thawing, even as Jason and Tim suffered in the back, Tim doubly so for having sunburn and having Jason touch his leg.

For all the sand and Arthur being a flirtatious little shithead had ruined his day, Bruce thought, at least he had salvaged it with a smile with the greatest love of his life.

***

The next morning, Bruce picked up the Gotham Gazette with a sore shoulder, courtesy of a large demon that had mistakenly manifested in Gotham during patrol last night, promptly freaked out, and wrecked havoc until Damian recognized it as a baby, and Dick was able to calm it down until it could communicate that it was supposed to follow daddy into the next dimension, not into this one.

Damian had had to place an urgent astral call to the other dimension, while Dick bounced the sniffling demonling, which had, after calming down, shrunk down to it's normal, child-like size.

Then, Gotham had to host a very panicky demon father, who was so grateful that they had found his baby, that he had granted Damian a boon, and had kissed Bruce out of sheer gratitude.

Needless to say, Bruce could still taste the flavour of Hellfire.

It tasted like kale.

No amount of Listerine could save his poor, poor, taste buds.

Dreading another tragedy in his day, Bruce cautiously opened up the paper, and immediately regretted it.

  
_BRUCE WAYNE - QUEEN OF THE SEVEN SEAS?_

_By Jim Flake-Payne_

  
_Holidaygoers to Gotham Beach were witness to one of the most fantastic series of events to grace its shores yesterday, with the public humiliation of a litterer by a group of small children, then to the summoning of the King of the Seven Seas, known popularly by his superhero name, Aquaman, and the foul litterer's subsequent punishment._

_The stand out event of the day, however, was the seduction of one Bruce Wayne, Gotham's own resident gabillionaire. It was noted by many that Aquaman winked twice at the blushing billionaire, and on one notable occasion, threw him a lecherous kissy face._

_Good readers, could this mean that the intensely private Bruce Wayne has been carrying on with the King of the Seas? Could Gotham see its first ever Queen in the form of its own resident billionaire?_

_Only time will tell._

  
Bruce groaned loudly, even as Tim - the true name of the author of the article - burst into sinister little chirpy giggles from the kitchen.

"Yes, it was I!" Tim squeaked, barging into the sitting room, oblivious to Bruce's glare. "Timmy has once again put to use his pen name and has provided a slightly twisted version of the day's events to suit his own purposes!"

Jason read the article over Bruce's shoulder with ever increasing degrees of shock, and finally sat down heavily. "D-damn, Tim," he whispered shakily, "that was s-savage. I-" Jason looked up at Tim with a new reverence, "I bow to you."

"Timmy accepts your respect with the dignity befitting a queen bee," Tim said, and turned to smile triumphantly at Bruce. "You see now Bruce, the consequences of your hatefully separating me from my beloved Kon? Remember, I have fingers in every pie in Gotham! Hee hee hee!"

"I am your father," Bruce gritted out. "You would slander my name thusly?"

Damian popped in to offer his two cents. "You know, Father, I rather like Kyle as a partner for you," he opined while chewing philosophically on a carrot stick, "but I would not be opposed if you decided to take up with Aquaman. He has sharks, and it is unversally acknowledged that sharks are, as Todd says, massive cool beans."

"I'm not breaking up with Selina," Bruce said.

"Then hurry up and do right by the woman, Father," Damian lectured. "After all, you are hardly young and spry anymore, and neither is she. Why, she will soon need help in feeding all of her cats, and who better than I, Damian Wayne, future veterinarian in three years when I get my degree?"

"Why are my children so awful," Bruce asked ruefully, and snagged Terry as Dick walked past wih him. "Only Terrykins loves me."

"Wuv 'oo," Terry affirmed to his grandfather.

Bruce snuffled his worries away into the top of Terry's wispy-haired head, and immediately felt better about himself. God bless soft, squishy, little babies everywhere.

"Terry," Jason cooed at his nephew, attracting the attention of the happy little blob on Bruce's knee.

"Jay!"

"Who's that?" Jasn asked, pointing at a surly Bruce, who could quickly see this going wrong.

"Gwanpa Boos!"

"Can you say, Queen Bruce?"

"..."

"..."

"Qeen Boos!"

Bruce hung his head in sorrow, lamenting every decision that he ever took in his life. "Ah, you have betrayed me, my little sweet potato," Bruce murmured.

Immediately, Terry felt awful. "Boos! Boos no!" Tery insisted, lightly slapping Bruce's cheek. "No sad!"

"I could never be sad with my Terry-pie," Bruce smiled, and Terry settled back down to his resting state of happy yam.

"The beach was fun though," Dick hummed, while he plied everyone with healthy homemade biscuits - Damian's were star shaped, because he was Dick's little star, and Terry's were soft and squishy for him to gum at - "Bruce, why are you not eating your biscuit!?"

"It tastes off," Bruce muttered, examining the treat.

"That's because I put flaxseed in yours, to help clear you colon!"

"My colon is fine," Bruce gritted out.

"Then why was the towel rack ripped off the wall in the bathroom?" Dick demanded.

Bruce looked sheepish. Would he tell everyone that he had broken the towel rack while having bathroom naugthy time with Selina and face jeering and hooting, or eat Dick's crummy cookie?

"I was having relations with Selina and it broke."

"Oooh Bruce," Jason sang, "you nasty."

"Truly father, you are, as Todd said, unbeliveably nasty," Damian concurred. "One does not have relations in the bathing chambers. Use each chamber for it's given purpose."

"Oh that's rich, you store your menagerie of pets in the cave, which is used for work," Bruce frowned.

"Only because you will not allow me to build a barn in the yard," Damian countered. "Poor Batcow yearns to graze in the open fields."

"And pull up the grass from my yard. I consented to a henhouse, and that is the end of it. No cows roaming and fouling my lawn, no sir."

Damian pouted and vowed to build a miniature barn for his beloved cow. He made puppy eyes at Dick and Wally, who smiled and silently nodded. Damian then turned his powers of cute onto Jason and Roy, who groaned loudly, whined a bit, and then consented with very put upon sighs.

Tim was making use of the time to gloat squeakily over his victory, and twirl around the sitting room in his little frock that barely covered his modesty. "Wait till Kon finds out I avenged him!" Tim sang. "He'll be so happy!"

"To avenge is the greatest form of love," Cobb agreed.

Bruce was used to the Talon's constant presence by now to be startled. "How do you keep getting past my laser grids, pepper spray cannons, and taser bolt obstacles?"

Talon shrugged. "It is fun, like an amusement park, or so I assume - I've never been to one. Besides, Tim lets me in when I get to the door."

Bruce contemplated his son's best friend. "Would you like to redesign the security system with me?"

Cobb smiled coquettishly. "Why Mr. Wayne, are you propositioning me?"

Bruce grinned sardonically. "Take it as you will, Mr. Cobb."

And so began the great alliance of the Talon and the Bat.

Meanwhile, Terry took it upon himself to waddle over to where Cass was lounging in a sunbeam like a cat, and flop over onto her belly. "Cass!" He cooed, and was rewarded when his aunt hoitsed him to sit on her stomach.

"Nephew," Cass rumbled seriously, making Terry giggle.

Bruce looked upon the pair with soft, wibbly, eyes, which immediately hardened when he saw Jason trying to sneak a bite of his biscuits. "No," Bruce scolded, and gently whacked Jason on the nose. Those were his disgusting flaxseed biscuits that Dick had made for him with love, and no Jasons were going to get their grabby mitts on them.

Damian broke the peace by snuggling over to Wally, who looked down tenderly at his brother-lin-law/pseudo son creature. "West, would you like to aid me in building Batcow an enclosure in the yard?"

"Sure, Damian."

"No cows pooing in my yard!" Bruce hollered.

"But father! I will clean up after Batcow, I swear! And this way, I will not have to store the hay in the cave!"

Bruce pondered. A cow in his yard, but with the removal of the stinky hay from his cave? It was too good to resist. "Fine."

Damian perked up and dashed forward to trap Bruce in a strangulating hug. "Father you are the best!"

"Hmph," Bruce said with faux grumpiness, but relished the bonding time with his son.

"Oh what joy, I can finally release Batcow to be the noble bovine that she is! Drake!"  
"What?" Tim asked, lookng up from his phone.

"Phone your lover at once! I must ask Kent to send over a bull for the mating season!"

"Ew, cow lovin'," Tim said, but obliged.

Bruce's synapses shorted out once more. "What? No! I will not have multiple cows! This is not Wayne Farms!"

"But father, think about it," Damian said conspiratorially. "Batcow will be able to produce calves and with them, milk! We will be able to produce our own milk, and we can train the calves to act as security hounds! All we need to do is to outfit them with armour, and teach them how to patrol and identify hostile forces!"

Bruce envisioned a cow and bull army, and found that he was not opposed to the idea. "How exactly will you train them?"

"I will use shaping behaviours and reinforcement techniques!"

"..Fine," Bruce relented, and Damian went to bother Tim about setting up an animal training program, they were going to have an army of Batcows, isn't that brilliant Drake?  
"Of course! And if a nice, plump cow happened to find it's way into Timmy's sandwich, well then, who's to say what happened?"

Damian's resultant shrieks were the tuneful accompaniment to the warm, Sunday afternoon.

***

A little less than nine months later, due to the marvels of Tim's genetic engineering...

  
Bruce was sat on his verandah with his mug of morning tea, soaking up the weak, early morning sunlight that Gotham had to offer. Normally, he would not be awake this early after a night of gruelling patrol, but this was a special occasion.

Batcow had given birth yesterday, and Damian had facilitated the birth with advice from a very glad Clark. The calves - twins, egads - were perfect, if tiny. Damian had promptly named them Todd and Stephanie, much to the human pair's befuddlement.

Damian just smiled like the tree frog that he was.

Now, watching Damian puttering around the yard, dressed in denim overalls and a straw hat, sitting down to milk Batcow, Bruce could not begin to regret his decision about letting Damian start his little farm. They were now at a cowshed and a henhouse, with plans for a horse old-age home. Bruce was ridiculously proud of his large-hearted former-grinch son.

The League of Assassins had already contacted Damian to send him a horse. Apparently, assassins became emotional when parting from thier aged horses, and knowing that Damian ran a shelter was the best opportunity to rehome their equine companions.

Bruce also took great joy in filming Tiny Farmer Damian and sending all of his hijinks to Talia, who seethed at her son doing common chores.

"He is a Prince, Beloved, he should not be mucking around with the animals- hello? Beloved! Have you hung up on me-!"

Revenge was so, so, sweet.

Maybe Tim was onto something with all of his scheming and making Lists of Enemies.

Bruce looked up just in time to see Dick breeze past him, once again in his Country Mother Grayson persona, complete with apron and a tray of breakfast for hard-working Dami, isn't he just the most precious, Bruce?

Bruce just grunted and looked down, and was greeted with the most wonderful sight of tiny Terry dressed in teeny tiny overalls, galoshes, and a titchy straw hat. "You really go all out, don't you," Bruce addressed Dick, who beamed.

"Terry just wants to follow in his uncle's footsteps!"

Hearing Dick's voice, Damian looked up, and beamed at the sight of Terry toddling towards him. "Ah, Terrence my excellent little bug, come and join me! Batcow, look at who has joined us," Damian said, holding Terry up to Batcow.

Batcow gave Terry an experimental sniff, and nodded sedately, accepting him as yet another oddly shaped calf. "Moo," she said. Drink more milk, small calf.

Terry laughed and started to bumble around with Todd and Steph, the two newborn calves, who were bemused at their mother apparently birthing a bipedal sibling.

Bruce watched Damian waddle around the little farm, content in his duties. Dick and Terry were bumbling about, being adorable, and Wally was hanging half out of the window, staring lovingly at his little family. Somewhere, Tim was off conducting some business or the other, rolling in money. Cass was probably rolling with him, she liked to pretend to be his enforcer during business meetings. Bruce looked at his watch. 6:30am. Jason was at his house, probably sleeping in with Roy, and would waddle down later for family brunch.

Life was good.


End file.
